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Post by PnP-Dad on Nov 8, 2017 19:37:37 GMT
I am interested to know how people have legally challenged PA. And how successful they were, if at all?
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Post by Wayne on Nov 10, 2017 1:45:14 GMT
First legal move was to create Contact Order which, despite aiming for 50/50 time, was given what was described as the “best case for a non resident dad” ie every other weekend, month in Summer, half holidays. Was refused Christmas as ex cried in court at request.
Roots of PAS had already started as all about power/control. every pickup (from over 100 miles away , was greeted with no Comms confirming and enforced meet in public car park. Quite often texts would be received mid drive changing pickup time or cutting weekends create ng huge stress and racking up legal fees as lawyers had to get involved to assure pickup.
She refused to allow school pickup ever as wanted to dominate school gate narrative.
Any sniff of a special event and she would Change pickup to ruin planning.
For eight years had to return to court around twice a year to secure passports for holidays, clarify forward calendars of dates, fight attempts to alter children’s names, change schools or even obtain baby’s medical records and confirm routine.
Was rebuked for excessive litigation and both made to attend parenting course (we were in our 40s by then!). Course full of similar stories.
As soon as children reached Cafcass consultation age, ex insisted on Cafcass review carried out at school. Youngest very disturbed by the humiliation. She then left letter coached by ex and boyfriend at house and refused to visit any more.
This then split the children increasing discomfort. Also allowed bf of ex to emotionally groom youngest and create additional aggressive discomfort. Took her back to court presenting pas evidence. Judge warned her to re-connect us. She cried at length again and agreed. Six months later back to Court. Judge rebuked her again. I read out judge’s warning judgement in court and gave chapter and verse evidence. Judge sympathised but said needed more evidence, beyond doubt. She then reversed order relating to youngest despite Cafcass support for my case saying they could not "force" child to go and mother "refused to make children do what THEY didn't want to" I stated that she would enforce school attendance or payment of library fees etc, Why was this different? Judge repeated “this is such a difficult situation” but did nothing. Yet is it really "difficult" especially if acted upon early on? For fear of losing order still governing eldest I gave up on court action. Bu as the impact of social workers interviewing our lovely children was heart breaking. However, our eldest eventually capitulated in face of drama at every single pickup, the taunting of youngest and mother etc and felt had to support mom when boyfriend inevitably left her. This drama took place over 8 years cost tens of thousands of pounds and I traveled hundreds of thousands of miles to retain meaningful relations with my children. By no stretch of the imagination can I be viewed as a poor parent or deadbeat or the other filthy nonsense used to abuse fathers. But to have been treated in this way and let down like this by a legal system that involved a judge asking me "what do you expect me to do, this is very difficult" is frankly gobsmacking! It's also devastating to have to endure. The only long term answer is 50/50 parenting as a given with tough enforcement to curb early signs of pas and psychological support to treat the perpetrators who, quite clearly have deep seated issues they are passing onto our children.
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